[ICE] hAvE YoU EveR MIsSEd YouRSeLf??

mazliana boggoshipda~~~

since i went through the thyroid operation last june, i've been facing this so called temporarily mute condition...though i might not be totally mute, though i can speak with others, as long as they pay attention to me, willing to wait for me to utter my whole sentence that i might need to break into 4 short phrases as it consumed a lot of my energy and breath to speak like normal people, as long as others can stay quite for awhile just so that they can hear what i want to say, then we will be communicating
but you, i, won't be listening to me... it feels like its not me... this is not me... this is not my voice...i am trapped inside my body. my voice stuck at the end of my tongue thus my throat had to push someone else to speak it on behalf of me. there's another person inside of me, the one that has been speaking on behalf of me for all this while before i get myself back. thats the voice that you'll be hearing
where did i left me?? on the operation bed?? inside the operation room?? at the hospital ward???
i lost me. i miss my voice. i miss me.
the me that love my own voice.
the me that love to sing even if it is just to myself

mazliana
please
i beg you
come back~~~~~~