how long will continue with this

6.25 am - wake up
6.57 am - drive to school
7.10 am - arrive at school
7.20 am - school session starts
1.10 pm - school session end

1.30 pm - 4.30 pm - possibilities for meeting, discussions and courses

5.00 pm - evening nap
6.30 pm - wake up

8.00 pm - 11.00 pm - sit at the living room, with laptop, and writing RPH

11.30 pm - iron baju kurung

12.30 pm - sleep


EVERYDAY..................................................................... the whole routine will be repeated 5 or 6 days a week

do you hate me??

its been quite long since the previous entry... well if there is anyone reading this, well i bet there isn't which i kinda like it too, because it makes me free to express myself here, without being restricted, for your information, i am no diligent blog writer. i write whenever i feel like i want to, and whatever i think at that particular moment.

as for now, i suddenly feel like writing an entry due to yesterday incident. fist allow me to explain, that i am a newbie educator.. that's what people in my field love to call ourselves.. we aint teacher. we come to school everyday to educate youngsters, and not to teach, although yeaah somehow reflecting back on NKRA and related stuff which requires us to produce kids with good greds and not kids who holistically developed, then we teach!

after almost 4 years of undergoing the true reality of malaysian education scenario, i finally start to change into a no longer yes mam, i'll do it, and nod nod type of person, to a hey you, please, i dont think that's my work to do.

when we carried our P & P, which is actually mean Pembelajaran dan Pengajaran, we teachers often nagged and even scolded the kids when we found out that they didnt pay attention to us. but then, didnt we learned it during our university times, that kids have really short attention span? yet we forced them to sit all day long, listening to us talk talk and talk and expect them to absorb it all? because they are kids, then we should be able to understand their nature of easily deteriorating interest towards lesson, thus teachers are encouraged to include games, quizzes, crafts and some other cross curricular activities throughout the lesson. so that the pupils won't despise the sight of us entering the class, knowing it will be a long dragging hours of boring stuff.

i somehow think, that i am an attention seeker, or even desperado, because i am worried if my kids dont like me. i'll try my best to please them throughout my lesson. hating me will somehow makes them hate the subject i taught. hating the subject means dieeeeeeeeee....

then again, what if adults unable to give their focus and attention during important discussion or talk? okay lets make it straight to the point. TEACHERS! what if teachers unable to listen well and grab the main gist of a discussion. then it means you'll start asking questions for thing you should very well known thus irritating others. and this, seriously kill me.

its like a doctor went to a clinic and asked to the others what he should do.

that kind of thing... dont you just feel like strangling them to death? and just because of that, i generously 'sound' a senior teacher yesterday during a meeting. A VERY SENIOR AND EXTRA SENSITIVE TEACHER.

now, DO YOU HATE ME??






.........do i even give a shit.......

bahasa bunga bunga guy? yes and no!

romantic guy? yes if he express himself to me.. secretly to me.. not for anyone else..in public?? just help me by not doing it... i'll die there and then!
guy with flowery decorative cherry on top type of talking, again! NOOOOOOOOOOO!
*runaway as far as i can*

just when i responded to someone on why this person felt down, and that person replied to me with all this wiseman talk, seriously kill me!
and thus i made a status on facebook how the respond literally scared the shit out of me *without making it obvious that i was talking about it*, and the person 'like' my status and being all concern...

a.w.k.w.a.r.d...............................

i'm as simple as that

that happy moment when you finally found your pupils answering questions the way you taught them how... a teacher happiness is as simple as that.. we dont ask for complicated things...
no please dont get me wrong.. i have no intention of forming a stereotypical group of robotic pupils who answered questions in the same exact form as i thought them too..
for me, it means they understood what i thought.. it means my objectives were successfully achieved.. and based on their understanding of what i taught, they are free to manipulate the questions and answer it using as many ways as they can, as long as it is in line with the expected answers...
whenever pupils get a correct answer, get good mark, teachers are the one who will feel happy, though the pupils dont really care.. because most of the time, i imagined myself teaching my brothers... as much as i am worried for my brother's future when he unable to perform well at school, i have the same concern for my pupils..
i'm foolish right right? that i am judging my brother's and pupils' future simply basing on their education performance....

we are TEACHERS!

we CAN'T feel sad.. we should not have that kind of feeling or emotion.. even though when the kids didnt pay attention to lesson, didnt listen to us, didnt do the work, didnt appreciate the efforts we put in preparing the teaching aids... we SHOULD ONLY love them..
oooh i forgotten... we are not human... we are TEACHERS!

Today was A Bad Day

first, i woke up late... when i opened my eyes.. the sun was shining straight to my face.. the heat of the sun hit me, thus it woke me up... i was confused... i was wondering if i woke up from evening nap... but then, evening nap means i slept after i came back from work..isnt it? but how come i have no memory of being at school? so, i searched for my phone.. cant find it! WHERE IS IT???? after a few moment of chaos, i finally found it... in my handbag... looking at the phone, it shockingly shown 7.40 a.m. WHUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUT???? terrified and completely flustered.. i sms-ed one of my school teacher, asking whether my school headmaster was in good mood or bad.. coz i'm gonna call him to ask for CRK... however, due to bad celcom connection, the sms didnt reach her... so, after paring to God, i called my headmaster.. sincerely confessed to him, he laughed listening to it... dude.. i was really scared when i was about to call him, but the moment i heard him laughing..... uuuuuuh... thank God... he told me to just come to school.... well... although i was actually hopping he would just approve my CRK.... so that i can continue with my sleep, but then, since he wasnt angry, i woke up from bed and get ready...

arriving at school, with attention from a few teachers who saw my car entering the school gate, i simply waved and smiled at them... LOL...

but the whole bad situation didnt just stop there.. another unfortunate event continued to happen during the recess time. out of all time, must it really happened at that time? i fell flat on the floor in front of the English Hut... i lost my balance? i fell asleep? fainted?.. the minute i realized it, i was already lying on the floor... the school cleaners rushed to me, to help me get up... since it happened during the recess time, definitely all of the pupils were at the canteen... AND THE TEACHERS TOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO... demnit! that was the very first tie i fainted.. i guess i fainted...

aaaaaaaaaih.... despite all the bad things happened.. stayed back at school until 5 something, since i have extra class with the year 6 pupils, and PIBG meeting!

Housemates

For the rest of the time i've been teaching in this place, i've been staying with more than one housemates... Met various types of people, with various personalities, behaviors and attitude...

The first housemate was AA... i have no problem with her... she was a lay back person..and we occasionally have fun together.. although both of us didn't really share the same interest, i have no problem fitting in with her..

After a few days, or maybe a week or more?? HAHAHHAa... cant really recall... another 2 housemates moved in... they were J and MA... huummmp... at first i cant really fit in with MA and J... i found it awkward with both of them... J was too straightforward, that she often made me feel unappreciated, while MA .... nothing happened between the both of us.. but it was just awkward... AA and J weren't staying long with us since they are contract workers.. after a few months, their contracts were ended..so they moved out from our house.. leaving me and MA staying together... i guessed this was the survival situation happened.. because there were just the both of us staying together, we began to fit each other and talked more frequent... things went on well until a new housemate moved in...

another girl moved into the house... let me introduced her as ES... ES was someone that MA knew through facebook, ES was a friend of MA's friend.. so,although they didnt really closely acquainted, but they have heard of each other previously... besides, ES friends were also MA friends... so, in this case, i felt totally left out..they began to talk on things which i obviously have no idea..making me felt so left out... just to tell you ES was another straightforward person.. only that her level was so much higher than J... i always have problem with people who are straightforward.. because i am not that kind of person.. i frequently felt hurt and sad because of their words.. this is because, i am not the type of person who easily share my feelings..thus this kind of people often make me offended... although at first we were completely fine.. slowly i felt deserted... i just have no idea why... i let it be...

until one day... another girl moved in.. and she was EE... my first impression of EE wasnt that good... i found her too social and wild.. but after a few week staying with her, i figured out that she wasn't like that... i think she was cute despite of her age... i mean.. she was older than me.. but maybe because of her personality... i never really feel the age gap... until one day... MA and ES moved out from the house..leaving both me and EE... i totally have no idea why both of them moved... the only thing i knew, both of them moved out at peak of awkwardness occurred in the house.. i was away when they left the house, attending a three days course.. so i didnt get any explanation from them on why they moved.. even EE asked me why, which i was totally clueless

since then, i stayed with EE for really long time... we mixed with each other well... no problem at all.. we went out and have fun together..shared happy moments together....

finally recently... both of us get 2 new housemates...

they didnt come together... one of them moved in the of mid january... she is NA... NA is just like many other girl.. i didnt find it hard to mix with her.. we may not share the same interest, but things just go on well.... she is someone who is easy going.. was quite jealous of her personality.. she is able to mingle with guys easily.. maybe because of her working environment....

and lastly a new housemate that just joined the house this week... or was it previous week? hummmp.. she is F... this one... kinda hard for me to say.. it is too early for me to judge her... but she has this ES personality.. her thing is hers.. other people things can also be hers.. which make the whole situation awkward... besides, she spent most of her time in her room..less communication will create uncomfortable atmosphere... totally dont like this at all

i hope, as time moves on.. she'll mix with us... unlike NA... although NA just stayed with me AN EE, we totally have no problem.. so far... kekekkeeee