.:: numb ::.

my heart.... my heart...
is confused and clustered with things that i can't explain
too many worries until it becomes numb
and i turned into feelingless and emotionless person

i mean anyone ever know who i am
i might appear to be that emotionless type of person
but i aint really that type of person at the back
i pretend to be thoughtless
but what happened right now is what i pretend to be
turned real

the normal me at school
who cares about the kids
scold and nag at the kids
simply because i care
i am worried why did not do their homework, why they did not bring their book
why they did not pay attention, why they did not listen
why they did not understand
but what happened
when i am no longer nagging and scolding them
simply because i do not care
i do not even bother about them
i teach in front
they choose to listen or to ignore
they choose to do their work or not
to make noises and chat
i do not even feel irritate
i do not even feel angry
i just do not care

it is normal
when teacher turned their back to write on the blackboard
the whole class turned upside down
especially if you are teaching the last class
before this i will get angry
telling the kids to sit down
calm down, i will explain soon
but now
i do not feel angry
i do not feel annoyed
i do not feel irritated
as a matter of fact
i do not feel anything
i just do not care about them at all

now
the only thing that i feel
as if the world, everyone, everything is moving really fast
while i am moving really slow
and everything, everyone
is leaving me behind
even my soul
is leaving me...